In random order..
Note: This was originally written before we learned that my brother Christopher had cancer. This post sat in my drafts until today.
Note: This was originally written before we learned that my brother Christopher had cancer. This post sat in my drafts until today.
1. My mom....there's nothing about me that didn't in some way begin or end with something I learned from her. Too many things to name here. I miss her. Hug your moms readers.
2. My siblings. For letting me live the most unique childhood. Playing Army with Chris, stealing clothes from my sister (much to her dismay), looking up to Dave who is so wicked smart, and from Jim I learned that growing up is sometimes harder then it should be. Just to name a few....they are such amazing people in their own ways. [Chris had since passed away from when this was first written. It still feels weird to have lost our middle sibling. I am still in disbelief.]
3. My 20s. I drank my fair share, danced, loved the wrong guys & made friends with crucial people. People who have shaped who I am.
4. My first cat Kiraly taught me how unconditional love really works.
5. My Dad. This one is tough to explain but I guess him not being an active part of my childhood taught me that sometimes people let you down. That's not on me though. I was a kid. Whatever choices he made were his and he had to live with that.
6. My first real boyfriend, not naming names, who taught me to not be such an idiot. Seriously, I was a moron then.
7. The three guys I fell head over heals for in college. Two were my best friends at that time and each taught me that I was stronger then I gave my self credit for. I was special. I mattered. One turned out to be a selfish jerk and that taught me to avoid that kind of guy at all costs.
8. I'm tempted to name one male friend here but I won't. I will say that I miss him. I wish I understood him better but after 15 years he should have tried to know me better too. It saddened me to know that he never really trusted me. I think I went through enough hell to earn that trust. He broke my heart more times than I could count. Despite that I am never going to look back and regret a moment. Never. I may have guilt on how I handled some things along the way but having him as a friend really mattered to me. I looked up to him. Not because he was perfect, but because he was strong, independent, determined. He made me laugh. It is because of him I met some of my best friends. There is no way I could have any regrets.
9. My Uncle Dave. My Aunt Rose. Each has helped my mom and my sister and I at every landmark moment in life, including my wedding.
10. My dear cousin Ray....your smile was just epic. I miss it. You were far too young but the world gained a clever angel in you.
11. To the two people I hated more then life itself at one time in my life. I hope one day Karma gets her fill of you. I will take comfort in that knowledge. My hatred of you was far too much effort and so not worth my time. I am a bigger person for being able to walk away and I'm thankful for being able to get through that experience. I am a much better person as a result. Not sure if you could claim the same.
12. My ex fiancé. EVERYTHING happens for a reason. If there was a major turning point in my personal journey that experience was it. Much happiness came as a result of something that once made me sad.
13. My college friends. Seriously how can I make this list without thanking you ladies? We have so many great stories. The boom box story, endless nights at Senunas' and Gonda's. Those years were amazing but mostly because you were a part of it. Hopefully more years and stories are to come.
14. My husband Ben. I know I talk about him a lot in my blog; how funny he is, how annoying he is, and how is by far the best thing that's ever happened to me.
15. My dog Castle and my cat Angel. My fur kids are the best. So much love because of them and for them.
16. The friends I've made since I've moved out to Las Vegas in 2007. It is amazingly difficult as an adult to find friendships that last. I have been blessed to have made such friendships here. Thank you!
17. Running. It challenges me, it comforts me.
18. My amazing Zehner family. You have accepted me with open arms. I love you.
19. To my biological and adopted nieces and nephews - I so wish I could be there as some of you that live far away grow up in to the amazing people you are becoming. I may be far from you but my love for you is always present.
3. My 20s. I drank my fair share, danced, loved the wrong guys & made friends with crucial people. People who have shaped who I am.
4. My first cat Kiraly taught me how unconditional love really works.
5. My Dad. This one is tough to explain but I guess him not being an active part of my childhood taught me that sometimes people let you down. That's not on me though. I was a kid. Whatever choices he made were his and he had to live with that.
6. My first real boyfriend, not naming names, who taught me to not be such an idiot. Seriously, I was a moron then.
7. The three guys I fell head over heals for in college. Two were my best friends at that time and each taught me that I was stronger then I gave my self credit for. I was special. I mattered. One turned out to be a selfish jerk and that taught me to avoid that kind of guy at all costs.
8. I'm tempted to name one male friend here but I won't. I will say that I miss him. I wish I understood him better but after 15 years he should have tried to know me better too. It saddened me to know that he never really trusted me. I think I went through enough hell to earn that trust. He broke my heart more times than I could count. Despite that I am never going to look back and regret a moment. Never. I may have guilt on how I handled some things along the way but having him as a friend really mattered to me. I looked up to him. Not because he was perfect, but because he was strong, independent, determined. He made me laugh. It is because of him I met some of my best friends. There is no way I could have any regrets.
9. My Uncle Dave. My Aunt Rose. Each has helped my mom and my sister and I at every landmark moment in life, including my wedding.
10. My dear cousin Ray....your smile was just epic. I miss it. You were far too young but the world gained a clever angel in you.
11. To the two people I hated more then life itself at one time in my life. I hope one day Karma gets her fill of you. I will take comfort in that knowledge. My hatred of you was far too much effort and so not worth my time. I am a bigger person for being able to walk away and I'm thankful for being able to get through that experience. I am a much better person as a result. Not sure if you could claim the same.
12. My ex fiancé. EVERYTHING happens for a reason. If there was a major turning point in my personal journey that experience was it. Much happiness came as a result of something that once made me sad.
13. My college friends. Seriously how can I make this list without thanking you ladies? We have so many great stories. The boom box story, endless nights at Senunas' and Gonda's. Those years were amazing but mostly because you were a part of it. Hopefully more years and stories are to come.
14. My husband Ben. I know I talk about him a lot in my blog; how funny he is, how annoying he is, and how is by far the best thing that's ever happened to me.
15. My dog Castle and my cat Angel. My fur kids are the best. So much love because of them and for them.
16. The friends I've made since I've moved out to Las Vegas in 2007. It is amazingly difficult as an adult to find friendships that last. I have been blessed to have made such friendships here. Thank you!
17. Running. It challenges me, it comforts me.
18. My amazing Zehner family. You have accepted me with open arms. I love you.
19. To my biological and adopted nieces and nephews - I so wish I could be there as some of you that live far away grow up in to the amazing people you are becoming. I may be far from you but my love for you is always present.
20. Some key teachers in High School. I learned more from you then from what was in our books. As an adult I still talk with some of you. That is such an honor. Your impact on my life continues.
This is not a complere list but just a few things that came to mind. There is so much more....
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