Hey Mercury...

...."I don't really care if you are in retrograde. Get your sh*& together."

If you are friends with me on Facebook you will know doubt know of the calamities that have befallen me and my poor husband these past two weeks. A former boss of mine used to always tell me when things happened in quick succession like that it was probably due to pesky Mercury being in retrograde again. So, on a whim, I checked it out. Sure enough it is happening right now and won't end until the 20th. 

What happens to you during this crazy time? AstrologyZone.com says this, "You miss appointments, your computer equipment crashes, checks get lost, you find the car you just purchased during Mercury retrograde is a lemon. (Or, you hate your haircut, the lamp you bought shorts out, your sister hates her birthday gift.) There will be countless delays, cancellations and postponements--but know these will benefit you in the long run. Don't fight them, although your frustration level and feeling of restlessness will be hard to cope with at times."

Hmmm...You don't say...

Ok, before you get all snarky on me for believing in all that "astrology mumbo jumbo" put yourself in my shoes. 

In one day I had my IPhone overheat to the point of my screen cracking. I then proceeded to spill coffee on my shirt and pants just moments before walking into the office. After that, I called my husband and asked him to bring an orange shirt to change into (let me preface this next part by letting you know that all of my clothes are organized by style and color)...he brought me an orange dress. All day I wore that stained shirt. Sigh. He did try but it was just comical to see his expression after driving the 14 miles to being me that shirt. I had some other work related stuff happen which isn't all that "funny" and then 6 pm hit....I thought, "Yay, I'm FINALLY free of this wonkiness at last!" 

Nope. Denied. 

I got to my car and noticed that the sprinkler head next to my car broke and sprayed water all over my windshield. One downside to water in Vegas, it leaves nasty water stains and my windshield was obscured by them. So I said, okay I need to wash my car anyway might as well hit that on the way home. Got to my favorite car wash, put my money in, and waited my turn. Once the patron before me left I went ahead in. The brushes kicked on and slowly started creeping up the front end of my car.....I started to relax and enjoy the solitude. 

Until the brushes came to a grinding halt.

No damage to my car but I had to back out slowly and go inside to tell them what happened. This is where I nearly lost my cool. The cute and yes friendly attendant said in a matter-of-fact manner that she was really sorry that happened to me but I would have to come by tomorrow to get my money back because her manager had to okay it. 

{rolling my eyes}

I know it wasn't her fault, but really? Manager's approval for a failed car wash that cost $5? I never did go back. I just went home and rinsed the bubbles that still lingered on the front of my car. 

My car is still dirty. 

The very next day Mercury decided to hit my husband, literally. No really. I am not just using "literally" for emphasis. He was hit in the face. He was at his softball game, and missed the ball with his glove. Sadly his face made the play instead. He ended up cutting the tooth through his mouth and out the front of his chin. It was a mess. Yesterday he went to the dentist to check out his teeth which with thought were okay. 

They weren't.

He ended up having to have his teeth bonded until the crack in his jaw heals. You just can't make this sh*& up!

Sadly the option of staying home in bed, under the safety of one's covers is not an option. And despite my rational brain saying all this Mercury stuff is nonsense, I cannot seem to dispute the craziness of the last few days. There is more to this then what I have shared here but I think you get the gist. 

The gist being that Mercury is sometimes one crazy ass beotch. 

Tread carefully my friends. And if what they say is true that this mean good times are ahead, so be it. At this rate though it better be kick-assery or I will feel jipped.